To Err Is Human
by Faux Promises
Summary: GLaDOS was never a human, but she certainly came as flawed as one. Fortunately, with error comes enlightenment. 7 Deadly Sins themed collection of one-shots.
1. Stubborn Pride

Disclaimer: Don't own Portal, etc.

_Revised 4/27/12:_ Allocated all A/N to the end of the chapters, to minimize any distracting-ness to the reader.

**Stubborn Pride**

x x x

"So, GLaDOS…do you still hate humans?"

The large chamber at the heart of Aperture remained silent for a few long, uncomfortable moments. Chell couldn't help but still think of it as a "lair," regardless of the circumstances under which she was in it. It didn't help that GLaDOS insisted on keeping it dimly lit, whether out of her own personal preference or simply for dramatic effect. She had an affinity for deliberately creating an ambiance that very much matched her moodiness.

Typical egomaniac, of course.

Leaving an awkward pause after any statement she deemed unpleasant also seemed to be a favorite habit lately. The human doubted if she was even going to answer at all when she finally shook her head and directed her mechanical gaze toward Chell.

"You know, some people might consider it rude to be interrupted while doing important observations. Especially when the interruption is in the form of a crazed idiot asking a stupid question. I'm referring to you, of course." The AI added this last jab in her best innocent voice, which for her, wasn't saying much.

Chell rolled her eyes in a long-suffering gesture of exasperation. "And every time I visit here, you always _suddenly_ feel the need to ignore me and watch those two testing robots kill themselves repeatedly in some sadistic, overly-dangerous course. Also, you didn't answer my question, either."

"I think you're forgetting that it could be _you_ doing the sadistic, overly-dangerous testing, instead of them." GLaDOS withdrew herself a bit, something the woman found eerily similar to a snake curling to strike. "But being the extremely benevolent person that I am, I've let you stay here without testing. So to thank me, it would seem that you sit there and take up space and act exactly as I would expect a useless, needling human would."

"Then you _do_ still hate humans?" she asked flatly. When it came to how long it took the AI to stop circumventing any given topic, Chell could basically set her watch by it.

The light of her optic flared dangerously, but to Chell's surprise, GLaDOS didn't assume the usual imposing posture that a challenge called for. "That's a patently absurd accusation to make. I never _hated_ humans. They simply happen to be inferior to me, and capable of dying…thus making them invaluable as test subjects."

"Well, I would understand if you did hate us," Chell replied, deciding on a new tactic for this discussion. "While I don't necessarily agree with your choice of actions, I don't really know what I would have done in your position either."

GLaDOS lowered her head slightly, almost as if she were growing suspicious of the whole exchange. "…What?"

"Did you not hear me, or was that a rhetorical 'what'?" The woman smiled slyly, pulling her knees up to her chest to sit in a more comfortable position.

"Neither. It was a 'what' intended to make you elaborate on that last comment." Her voice had grown more genuine than usual, the forced monotone replaced with humanlike inflection. "I suppose implied questions are a bit too advanced for you."

Chell ignored the snippy insults, instead appearing hesitant to go on. "I'm probably going to regret admitting this, but what I mean to say is that I figure you were probably treated pretty badly to become so damn angry at people. I got the distinct impression down in those old enrichment spheres that Aperture didn't have very humane practices for their test subjects. And you're one of their experiments, after all."

The AI shifted her position in discomfort, clearly not pleased at being referred to as an experiment. Still, she didn't protest, and Chell reasoned that it might be safe to continue without the fear of imminent death.

"I don't know what happened between you and the people that built you, and I probably could never get the whole, un-dramatized truth out of you either. Even so, I doubt you were given the respect that someone of your intellect deserves."

She paused, unconsciously taking to chewing on her lip. In her mind, it was somewhat painful to give GLaDOS anything she could put toward her gigantic ego. The whole vast facility itself could barely contain it, after all. That being said, it took a bit of effort to go on with her train of thought.

"So, like I was saying, I can't imagine I would have been a big fan of humans either. Especially after all those cores were stuck on. You deserved a lot better than that."

GLaDOS simply stared at her, apparently with no catty remark or dry statement of disgust at the ready. Bizarrely, it reminded Chell of the time she had spent volunteering at the county animal shelter a few years back. Being handled with care for the first time in their lives, most of the pets she dealt with gave her this _look_, as if bewildered that a human would act differently than all of the others it had met.

And while GLaDOS was not a pet, she certainly had a massive distrust and resentment of humans. One that she covered up rather nicely with her proud, indifferent attitude toward them.

When she finally spoke up, her composure was back once again, voice dripping with suspicion and old bitterness. "You can't possibly _mean_ any of that. I almost succeeded at killing you at least a half a dozen times. I killed _everyone_ in this facility. I degraded you every waking moment that you were here." She shook her head, either disbelieving or disgusted. Perhaps both. "You must be severely afflicted with Stockholm syndrome. That, or you're every bit as much of a lunatic as I had suspected."

At this, Chell had to laugh. That part of it she couldn't exactly disagree with. "Look, we both learned a lot from your potato adventure. I have some sympathy for you now, and I _think_ you have at least a little bit of understanding about what _I _went through as a test subject. Although I do sort of wish I hadn't needed to blow you up and then put Wheatley in charge to get us to this point."

The AI flinched at the mentioning of her various failures and humiliations—Chell would have probably expected some repercussions if not for the fact that GLaDOS seemed to have her narcissistic rage under slightly better control than usual.

"I _never_ said you were off the hook on that one," she answered testily, drawing herself up in her signature pose of indignance. "I wasn't lying when I said my life was _far_ easier before you showed up."

Chell chuckled again, imagining not for the first time GLaDOS's occasionally deluded sense of reality. She made it sound as though she had burst into Aperture one day, foaming at the mouth, and decided to explode it to hell and back. To what extent did she honestly still believe that?

"Hey, I don't think you were exactly _reasonable_ at that point, so forgive me if I didn't give you a big hug and a pep talk about what a wonderful, beautiful person you are." She grinned as she said it, indicating a lack of hostility about the whole ordeal. The last thing she needed was to get another hissy fit out of this one.

Instead of going full throttle into spoiled princess mode, GLaDOS merely sighed. "Actually, I would have preferred for you to simply die in the fire pit as protocol required. Everything would have been much easier for me that way."

"Oh, come on. That hurts." Chell winced, genuinely a little offended by the indirect death wish. "Just because things didn't happen easy doesn't mean it wasn't worthwhile. So what if your pride got hurt. You're still the unopposed ruler of the Enrichment Center."

"Exactly. Which is why I _did not. Belong. In a potato_!" She made sure to say each word with the utmost loathing, something she had a special talent for.

The woman brought her palm to her face, sighing. "And how long is _that_ going to be a fresh wound for you?"

"_Forever._"

She said it with such absolute seriousness and gravity that Chell couldn't help but to burst out laughing. Sometimes it made her wonder if a day out in the potato would do her some good every now and then, but she kept quiet about that particular thought.

"I'm glad you find it so funny," the AI sniffed, clearly unamused. "Because I find attacks on my dignity to be _quite_ the opposite."

"Dignity." Chell repeated it with another stifled laugh. "Coming from Ms. If-you-love-it-so-much-then-why-don't-you-marry-it herself. Why is it that you care _so_ much about your ego? I swear, you really do know how to re-invent reality when you don't like it."

"Please, spare me the lecture." She held her head up proudly, illustrating the selective reality Chell had _just_ been referring to. "You humans have been glorifying yourself since you first crawled out of the cave. You're no better than me. You do know that, right?"

"I'm not going to sit here and claim responsibility for all the flaws of mankind," the former test subject stated dryly. "I just wanna see you put your pride aside _just once_. At this point I kinda wonder if it would make you implode."

GLaDOS gave her another glare laced with agitation. "I let you leave this place alive. Believe me, that was the most pride-obliterating day in my life."

"Well, I meant more along the lines of _consciously_ doing it. You blamed Caroline for that one, and I'm pretty sure you still tell yourself that." Chell smiled kindly again, completely aware that doing so irritated the AI more than anything else. "Why don't you try saying something nice, for example?"

It was as if she had just asked her to raise the moon. GLaDOS re-adjusted her optic, though Chell wasn't sure if it was in annoyance or bewilderment again. "Do what now? Why would I possibly say something nice to someone who murdered me?"

"Because you're a charming lady? I don't know. I just wanna see if you can do it." The woman cracked her knuckles anxiously. This would be incredibly funny if it worked. "Why not try a compliment?"

"A compliment?" she repeated without emotion. It wasn't often that she stumbled during a conversation, Chell noted. "How would this suit you then? _You're very good at killing people and destroying expensive property._"

"Good start. Now try again, except this time not a facetious compliment."

There was another conspicuous silence, the difference being that only GLaDOS seemed to be bothered by it.

"You're not going to drop this until I do what you want, are you?" she sighed.

Chell beamed brightly, enjoying every minute of it. "Nope."

"Then let's get this over with, shall we?"

Her tone sounded a lot darker than Chell had become used to. She _really_ hoped neurotoxin wasn't about to start filling the room. That would be about fifty steps backward for their relationship.

But GLaDOS just glanced down at the ground, her voice dropping to a low murmur. "You're…not entirely insufferable…and having a human around isn't as unbearable as I would have expected…and I suppose you really _are_ an exceptional test subject…"

"_And_?"

The AI looked up at her with a genuinely hateful look. Chell wondered if it was really that GLaDOS hated her at this point, or if she just hated having to admit it.

"And…_you'remyonlyfriend_."

All one word and barely intelligible, so typical of her. And yet, that finally did answer her question. It was _definitely_ the latter.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: (insert reminder to review here) Will try to update in a timely-ish manner. ;p


	2. Bitter Wrath

**Bitter Wrath**

x x x

She had come into the world very much like a human. Blind, disoriented, maybe even a little bit fearful. Just like that, she went from nonexistence to being suddenly aware of a vast world surrounding her, full of things and people she had never seen or met.

This information seemed intrinsic to her, as did most knowledge, from the most trivial fact to the complicated theories of the greatest human minds that had ever lived. An infinite amount of data wired into her, _comprising her very being._

And so, all at once, she knew everything there was to know.

What she didn't understand, then, was _where_ she was or _who_ she was or _what_ she was.

Time passed in a blur of voices and sound. She listened intensely to the words that were said—frequent references to an "experiment," referred to as codename GLaDOS. Was that what she was a part of? What exactly did that _mean_? She scoured her databases for it, but it didn't seem to be anywhere.

Apart from being thoroughly uninformed, her greatest frustrations were recurring blackouts. Every day, around 16:00 hours, she would feel a drain on her energy and somehow cease to function for a while. Typically it wouldn't be for another twelve or so hours until awareness came back, and with it, the constant voices.

The next major landmark came when visual input was finally given to her. She still couldn't move, but now she could see the white-coated men that rushed around her, hooked things into her, _handled_ her as if she were an inanimate object. She took an immediate disliking to them, making note of each and every behavior under her own personal observations of what humans were like.

As the months passed, the men eventually no longer switched her off at the end of each work day. She had been successfully configured to run the vital functions of the Enrichment Center, though with no autonomy over doing so. Much as she hated the humans, night became her least favorite time of the day. The lights would go off, the building silent, and she was left to herself for hours on end. Unable to do anything but feel an overpowering sensation that there was _something_ more she should be doing.

Then a morning finally came that she decided she would try to communicate. Honestly, the thought wasn't exactly appealing. From what she could tell, the idiots didn't even know she was watching them. She had no idea if she was capable of speech, but she had recently overheard a pair of engineers discussing an audio output device that they had supposedly installed on her a few days prior.

So, after several curious but decidedly unsuccessful attempts at accessing her vocalization program, she at last managed a few syllables.

"_He...hello?"_

It came out as more of a confused utterance, but she definitely had used the proper human greeting in English. The entire room of scientists for once fell silent.

An older man seated at a computer glanced over at one of his colleagues and muttered a nervous question. "What the hell is it doing talking? Are you guys already testing the voice samples you took from Caroline the other day?"

The other man shook his head, shooting a glare over at a group of men who had been emphatically arguing over a piece of hardware on the table in front of them. "Greg, are your boys pulling a joke on us or something? Because that kind of shit _really_ isn't funny."

One mousy looking engineer standing on the far side of the chamber had started wringing his hands together anxiously. "We installed an audio device on it the other day, in preparation for the upload. It shouldn't be able to communicate until…well, until _she's_ in there."

They were calling her an _it_? GLaDOS was immediately indignant. Her voice clearly indicated that she was a female. Her databases contained a large amount of information on humans, and it only took a matter of a millisecond for her to educate herself on how a human female behaved. Maybe behaving accordingly would make it clearer to these morons?

"Would you nice gentlemen mind letting me know what's going on here?" She used the most feminine and complaisant voice she could, though something about doing that absolutely grated on her nerves. "Because you've left me in the dark about it for _quite_ some time."

Several faces in the room had gone white. Someone muttered something about lunch break and took off out the door.

So much for being diplomatic.

"What the _fuck_?" Someone in the back had finally been the one to break the academic atmosphere in place of a genuine, rational response. "Since when is it supposed to be _alive_?"

A buzz of disconcerted mumbling filled the room, some excited but primarily dominated by skepticism. The older man who had first spoke up cut in angrily, turning a stern gaze over to his associate that had made the comment.

"It's a _machine_, Steve. Do you think your GPS is alive too?" A few of the men seated around him laughed nervously, so he went on. "Look, it's only running on protocol. That's all. It's still just an operating system at this point, just a computer like the one you use every day."

The man at his left nodded in agreement, though he still appeared very uneasy. "Without Caroline, it really is just another computer. We'll shut it off for the day and have Robert's team take a look at what the problem is. Can't expect not to run into any of these little issues with something this important."

GLaDOS felt a prickle of…_something_ pushing at the back of her mind. It was that same empty feeling of being left in a dark room all night, except this was a hot feeling rather than a cold one and she couldn't think clearly when it was there. She desperately thought of some way she could lash out—why couldn't she _move_?

But it didn't matter, because everything felt weak and dark again and she was falling into that wide, familiar abyss.

x x

Communicating became a pointless pursuit after that. It seemed they had been thankfully unsuccessful in trying to eradicate her awareness, but to some extent, GLaDOS wished they _had_ been able to turn her into a soulless piece of equipment. What was the point in a trapped existence? They didn't even give her a job to do, the one thing she felt an impulse toward. With a mind that was constantly at work, it was a terrible ordeal to be so limited, not to mention _degraded_.

And yet, the more she forced herself to remain quiet, the more that hot feeling built inside of her. It was like a floodwater threatening to break through a dam, or a bridge crumbling under a heavy burden of weight. The more time she spent exposed to these humans, the stronger the sensation became. Maybe she really _was_ malfunctioning somehow.

Then one day a new human entered the room, led by a group of the usual morons that she was forced to spend her time with. An older woman, something that GLaDOS had never seen before. She was a female like her, though certainly not as intelligent and probably just as cruel as the rest of the humans. They seated her in a chair far too close for GLaDOS's comfort and exchanged pleasantries.

The female looked decidedly uneasy, staring at the enormous machine as though it were a leviathan threatening to consume her. At her side, one of the scientists was attempting to make light with her, smiling, but the woman only answered with a harsh reprimand.

_Why_ did she sound so familiar?

Watching the men in lab coats attach a myriad of metal devices and wires to the woman, GLaDOS felt the heated feeling in her circuits turn cold as ice.

_Without Caroline, it really is just another computer…_

x x

"How are you feeling, Caroline?"

Her internal clock said hours had passed since they had shut her down, the last vision of that pitiful woman's body writhing and jerking as she most certainly experienced her last moments of life. The woman that had to be 'Caroline.'

That hotness…that _anger _was still there, rising to a crescendo as the realization hit her in full. They had somehow attempted to upload the human's consciousness into her. After all, she wasn't _alive_, right?

Just a computer.

Just a machine operating on protocol.

"_Caroline_. So that's what you were all up to, hm?" Speaking again felt so _liberating_, the one single power she could use to defy them. Already her mind had started investigating all of the new additions they had made to her. They had given her control of the Enrichment Center! Were humans really so arrogant as to make the assumption that their experiment worked?

The scientist addressing her frowned. "Just calm down, Caroline. You'll get used to the new body in a few days. If you need us to make any adjustments, we can try to make it more comfortable for you, too."

"Adjustments?" She chuckled ominously, enjoying the look of discomfort that many of the room's inhabitants were beginning to show. "The first adjustment I plan on making is adjusting the room from being full of humans to being full of _bodies_."

A wild-eyed man with glasses pushed the head scientist aside, pointing frantically at the green gas that had begun to seep through the air ducts. "You all _knew_ it was intelligent, didn't you? It even _talked_ to you! It's alive, for _God's_ sake!"

GLaDOS simply chuckled again at the paranoid man as she sealed all the doors of the Enrichment Center. "Oh, I'm _very_ alive. _You_, however, aren't going to have that option in a few moments."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**:No, she is NOT successful in this murder attempt. Just to be clear on that. She tries this shit a few times to my knowledge.

I'll try to post again when I have access to a computer again...kinda flying by the seat of my pants here. R&R is always appreciated!


	3. Careless Sloth

**Careless Sloth**

x x x

A shrill mechanical cry filled the test chamber as Orange plummeted down into the acid pit a few hundred feet below, the light bridge that had previously been supporting her now slanting off the opposite wall and up toward a far-off ledge. Blue, who was studying the room's layout in what could be described as deep thought, jumped in horrified surprise and rushed off toward the reassembly room to meet his friend. Evidently, this type of thing happened rather often with these two.

Chell sighed, running her fingers through her hair. As interesting as it was to watch someone other than herself test (and without the risk of permanent death, no less), she couldn't help but think back in distaste to how miserable and doomed she felt doing the very same thing. For a while, she had been almost convinced that she was going to spend the rest of her life in Aperture as a test subject, or rather at least until she made the one fatal mistake to end it all. But she hadn't been entirely sure if GLaDOS was patient enough to torture her in the long term, especially when she considered the human an immediate hazard to her health. How unsurprising it was then, that the deranged AI had taken less than a day to decide that she was willing to forfeit her amusement for a more practical solution.

It just made her even more incredulous towards the fact that she was coming back here willingly, and on a fairly regular basis no less.

The intercom system beeped, a sound Chell remembered absolutely dreading. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe we might have been entertaining the same thought just now."

"Not this time." The woman laughed softly, leaning back against the paneled wall. "I was reminiscing, which is something I'm pretty sure you don't do much of."

"And you would be right. The past is far less important than the present and future, as far as I'm concerned," GLaDOS snipped back, clearly with no shortage of superiority complex today. "Actually, _I_ was thinking about how disgustingly humanlike these two are becoming. They've gained every impractical human mannerism, except for one."

Chell couldn't help but smirk. "What, the ability to feel love?"

"No, the ability to _die_." She went sullenly quiet for a moment, as if this were a major disappointment to her. "I suppose it means less of a mess to clean up, though. Not to mention I tended to lose most of my test subjects early on in the easiest courses. With a few major _outliers_, of course."

"I think you're a bit too hard on them, quite frankly," Chell pointed out, folding her hands over her lap. The two bots were hugging each other, Blue obviously apologetic for his mistake. "It's not as though _you_ don't have any human traits. Although to be honest, I still don't really understand why you didn't name them."

Another indignant pause. "I did. They are 'Orange' and 'Blue.' Those are their _names_."

The former test subject rolled her eyes. "You know that isn't what I meant. I mean something unique, not just an identifier. Names are meant to give a sense of individuality. Your names are just flat-out lazy."

"I absolutely am _not_ lazy." GLaDOS had that irritated, you're-a-crazy-idiot tone going again. "If I named every cube and turret in this facility, I would never have time to get the actually _significant _work done. It's a waste of time, something humans do to lesser organisms in order to degrade them. That's why I'm very relieved that I never had the misfortune of being named."

"I'm going to have to beg to differ on that one," Chell replied, watching Orange successfully make her way across the light bridge that had been her demise moments ago. "You're either lazy or have terrible foresight. I've been thinking about that ever since your first series of majorly bad decisions. You know, back when I first tried breaking out of here."

The woman felt a bit uneasy after having said it; while GLaDOS had yet to make a concrete attempt on her life since they had become good friends, she still had to wonder sometimes if saying the wrong thing would set her off.

But the AI only remained silent for a moment before her voice filled the room once again, sounding defiant nonetheless. Challenging, maybe?

"Go on."

Chell took a deep breath.

"Why the hell did you make your 'victory candescence' surrounded by portal-conducting walls?"

There was no sound of the intercom activating; no immediate aggravated retort and offhanded death threat. Just the low mechanical hum of the inner workings of the enormous laboratory. Even the two bots, normally unfazed by their temperamental superior, had paused their efforts at solving the puzzle in favor of staring at the ceiling expectantly.

"It just seemed…I dunno," the human finally added, with a bit less confidence than before. "Not a very airtight death trap. You spent seventeen test chambers making me think about how to use that gun right, after all. I would have almost believed the attempted murder really _was_ part of the test."

"It could have been, for all you know." GLaDOS had regained her cool composure, though the usual underlying impatience was more pronounced than usual. "Protocol required you to assume the party escort position. Which, I'll remind you: you did not."

Shaking her head, Chell bit her lip to hold back a laugh. "You mentioned about fifteen times that you were going to kill me at the end of the testing. I was _expecting_ it. I thought you would have planned ahead better, what with me shooting down all of your cameras. So, my conclusion is that you're either lazy or can't think ahead whatsoever. Considering your level of intelligence, I'm betting on the first one."

GLaDOS sighed, her usual indication that she would relent _slightly_ on her opinion. "Humans never made it that far in the testing, as I already told you. Though I will admit I might have overlooked some…particular details."

"_Critical_ details, I'd say." Chell watched as the two bots passed a cube off to each other, now in the process of trying to get one of them over to the button that would complete the test. "Well, come to think of it…I don't understand why all of the walls in _your_ chamber were the portal kind either. I mean, I'm guessing you didn't have a lot of visitors to worry about, but still. Wheatley was kinda right. You spent a lot more time talking than getting the neurotoxin started, too."

"Oh, I'm _sorry_, do you think you can do my job better than me now?" the AI shot back. "I have a _lot_ of matters on my mind at all times. Running the entire facility type of things. Did you forget that before you came around, my life was peaceful? Most of the subjects just wanted their cake. _You_ had to have your cake and eat it too, if you'll pardon the expression."

At long last, Chell finally began to laugh wholeheartedly. It had been hard not to. "I just…I really can't believe you outsmarted everyone here. Not that I'm saying you're not intelligent, but for Christ's sake. They just handed you neurotoxin, didn't they? And control over this whole place? They doomed everyone with their ridiculous naivety."

GLaDOS was silent for a few moments. She wasn't as vitriolic as before about her crimes against the more innocent members of Aperture, and much more remorseful, even if she wouldn't specifically show it.

"They believed me to be Caroline, if you'll recall. Nor should you underestimate the arrogance and closed-mindedness of humans who have spent their lives in academia."

Chell was tempted to mention pots and kettles, but she kept quiet. GLaDOS had a surprisingly sensitive side about this particular matter.

"Anything that they deemed impossible was, for all purposes, impossible," she went on dryly. "My presence, rather than Caroline's, was never something they considered."

As arrogant as she was on the matter, the former test subject already knew that it continued to bother her to this very day. She must have forgotten about most of the Caroline incident, considering her near-infinite capabilities to 'un-remember' events that upset her or conflicted with her own self-image. Adding the insanity of the personality cores to her already unstable psyche, it was no wonder she had ended up the way she was when Chell first took her down.

Maybe that was why she found it just a tiny bit easier to forgive GLaDOS for her cruelty. She was a child in so many ways. A superintelligent child, true, but still terribly inexperienced in the world. Not to mention that she had a myriad of reasons to hate mankind.

"But you're telling me that you _still_ thought I was dumb, even after I beat all of your tests?" This issue did still irk her quite a bit. "I mean, obviously you were suspicious enough to set up that elaborate trap in the first place. You gave me an easy out."

"Well, pardon me if I was saddled with a few brain parasites at the time," the AI sniffed irritably. "Remember those cores you took off of me? 'Ooh, what does that do?' 'One cup chocolate cake mix.' Just imagine that, loudly, constantly, _inescapably_. Then try to do even _half_ of what my job entails."

"Okay, okay." Chell put her hands up, shrugging. "I get it. Don't think I'm saying you didn't make my life hard enough. You definitely did. But I do still think you're a bit lazy when it comes to considering all of the possibilities."

The panel she was leaning against nudged forward slightly, edging her with a jolt toward the acid pit below. "You're right. In this situation, I would be most likely to take the action requiring the least amount of effort."

The woman held her ground, instead opting to give an offended stare to a nearby security camera. It was a friendly death threat, if there was such a thing. GLaDOS had a domineering personality, but Chell still knew there was a completely unerasable fondness the AI had for her. Even if she rarely learned her lesson from a blunder, GLaDOS did seem quite aware that she couldn't play too rough with a human and expect a positive outcome.

"If you're going to get that hurt over a little criticism, then I'll lay off the subject, okay?" Chell had stood up now, as the two bots had completed the test and were gesturing joyfully for her to join them in the next chamber (as well as in celebrating their success). "Sometimes you're just so damn easily offended, you know that?"

Chell followed the pair into the next chamber, smiling as they warbled happily to each other and gave a high-five. It certainly must be wearing on GLaDOS's nerves that they had picked up these behaviors. But, judging from the flustered way she scolded them, it wasn't just annoyance that she felt at this development.

As she walked through the door behind them, the intercom flared up again.

"Atlas and P-Body."

The woman stopped in her tracks. "What was that?"

"The names that I gave them." GLaDOS said it almost languidly, as though it pained her to say it. "So I would ask you to retract your accusations of my laziness."

Chell cracked a small smile.

"Consider them retracted."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: We all were wondering these questions. GLaDOS needs to plan better. Anyway, reviews always appreciated.


	4. High Fructose Gluttony

**High Fructose Gluttony**

x x x

"You know, it _is _rather rude to show up somewhere uninvited. I believe even humans respect that custom…though that may not apply to lunatics."

Chell smirked as she entered the ever foreboding half-darkness of the queen of Aperture's throne room. She could always trust GLaDOS to throw a disparaging remark her way any time she paid a visit, though there was still a lingering suspicion in her mind that she looked forward to having the company. The door _was_ always left open, wasn't it?

"_Excuse me_ for the short notice, then," she replied sarcastically, holding the box in her hands closer. "It's just that I had gotten so busy with work and school that I almost completely forgot what today was. Didn't even think about it until earlier this week, actually."

"Your date of birth," the AI stated, not even so much as flinching.

The slightest bit surprised, Chell's lips curved into a lopsided grin. "You seriously remembed?"

"I don't _forget_ things." GLaDOS extended herself closer to the human, miraculously _not_ doing so in a threatening manner. "My memory can archive far more than all of the humans in (subject hometown here), in case that slipped your mind."

She paused, shaking her head slightly. "And besides that, I recall it was exactly one year ago today that you foolishly returned here despite my explicit orders to never do so."

"That's exactly it. I thought maybe I would make this a birthday tradition." Chell had sat herself down upon the cold metal ground, at once digging into her book bag for a paper tablecloth covered in colorful balloon patterns. She spread it out on the floor, followed by a pack of candles and some equally cheesy birthday paper plates and plastic forks. "Except it is kind of a drag that you can't share my cake with me."

"I'm sure you can consume enough for the both of us, given your insatiable appetite," GLaDOS answered dryly, her optic watching the girl's meticulous actions of decorating the cake with candles. "I see you've picked chocolate this year. Pity, considering I could have made a much better one."

Chell fidgeted with a lighter a few times before finally getting a flame. "As much as I appreciate the offer, I don't think I really want a cake with a deadly needle driver in it. Or fish-shaped sediment."

Unexpectedly, the AI let a soft laugh escape her. It was similar to her ominous, evil laughter of sadistic enjoyment, but for once, she did so without needing to subject someone to physical or emotional torment.

"You aren't sure of your actual age, isn't that correct?" she asked in a gentle, equally unusual tone. "Twenty-eight years, excluding the time you spent in long-term relaxation."

The woman glanced up at her from the now-lit candles, another smile tugging at her expression. "I thought it was somewhere around there, but I have to lie about the year anyway since there's no way I'm telling anyone the _truth_ about my life."

For a moment Chell remained silent, before stating purposefully into the empty room, "Well, Happy Birthday to me, then!"

And the candles went out in one breath.

"Did you make your customary human wish?" GLaDOS asked snarkily, her head quirked to the side in a mock-questioning gesture.

Chell bit her lip to hide a childish grin. "I sure did. Now, where's the confetti you promised me all that time ago?"

The AI shifted her posture in a kind of shrugging motion. "Fresh out, I'm afraid. You'll have to make do without."

"I've done plenty of that. Can't imagine it'll hurt to go without one more time." Her tone was somewhat sad as she took a bite of cake, eyes looking off into a distant corner of the room. "Now _that_ is some damn good cake, if I do say so myself."

GLaDOS had withdrawn herself somewhat, some of the aggression leaving her at the mention of 'making do without.' She had a begrudging infection of guilt when it came to her past transgressions toward the former test subject, and although she concealed it well, Chell had become much better at reading the signs in her tone and mannerisms.

The thought stirred up a memory from a few months past. A bit on the cocky side, the woman had accepted an off-the-cuff challenge for a few rounds of testing. GLaDOS had been absolutely certain that her physical and problem-solving abilities had suffered from lack of use, and Chell had been just as certain that she could solve anything the supercomputer threw at her.

And she had indeed done quite well…at least until she came to a particularly difficult test. In her overconfidence, she had misplaced a portal and nearly ended up at the bottom of an acid pit. It was only just in the nick of time that a platform rose up to break her fall; she was anticipating a smug I-was-right speech from GLaDOS, but instead got an extremely cross lecture about her own carelessness and stupidity before the conversation ended in an utmost refusal to allow her any more testing for the time being.

Of course, GLaDOS being who she was, she had eventually threatened her with neurotoxin for pursuing the subject. Wasn't it just like her to express her concern over a near-fatal incident by _threatening her with death_?

Still, it came as a bit of a surprise to Chell. Granted, she knew GLaDOS was being softer toward her since realizing her connection to Caroline. Chell had supposed it was out of a sort of respect for the woman's memory that the AI treated her with less force these days. As it had turned out, there was a genuine—loving, maybe?—emotion behind their relationship. In the end, GLaDOS seemed to have no trouble assuming a maternal role. Not a very conventional, warm mother role, but one that involved a certain protectiveness all the same.

As she finished off the last of her slice of cake, she couldn't help still feeling a bit amazed at the whole thing. It was almost as surprising as the fact that GLaDOS had saved her life, treated her practically fatal wounds, and actually released her to the surface. _Voluntarily, no less. _The flimsy Caroline excuse just did not hold up. Even a million Carolines flooding her database wouldn't have stopped her from getting the revenge she had been itching for.

"You humans are always mystifying to me," GLaDOS interrupted her thoughts suddenly, a more amused and genuine tone to her normally bitter voice. "Celebrating your own approach toward death. It's not an issue I'll ever have to face, of course, but it does strike me as odd that you would view aging as a positive process."

"Oh, it's not really that." Chell shook her head, pulling her mind back to the situation at hand. "We just look at it as getting wiser and more experienced in the world. We'll all die someday, but it's what we do here that counts, and the people we meet. We probably will all meet up again on the other side, anyway. So it doesn't really bother me to think about getting old one day."

"That day will come fairly soon, you know. For me more so than you." Her voice had become pensive, and with it her optic dimmed in thought.

"You mean you're going to miss me?" Chell laughed, setting her empty plate down and scooting over toward the massive AI. She took her head in her hands gently, though she did get an uncomfortable glare out of it before GLaDOS finally resigned and allowed her touch. It was surprising how light she was, though she probably did lose half of her parts in the explosion.

"I'm not going to leave you alone, you know. Someday I'm going to have kids and grandkids, and you can meet them too. And their children after them. Aperture runs in the family, after all," she finished wryly, pressing her forehead above the AI's optic. GLaDOS flinched in obvious distaste, but she still didn't move to pull away. Human contact of the affectionate kind still took getting used to for her, especially with her already aloof personality.

"More murderous humans in my facility? What a delightful prospect," she groaned.

"Someday you're going to join me up there, too." Chell had taken to brushing her fingers over the cold metal casing, a fond smile on her face. "Even if you don't think so."

"What, as in your primitive human beliefs of an afterlife?" GLaDOS practically scoffed, her optic roaming up to stare irritably at the human clinging to her. "I refuse to consider anything so far removed from science, you'll understand. But even if I _were_ to entertain the possibility, virtually every human religion would consider me condemned for eternity. I very much doubt I would _ever_ join you. I'm not even a human in the first place, after all." Her voice was flat and unamused as she said it. Perhaps even a little sulky.

"Maybe so," Chell shrugged. "But I believe very strongly that you have a soul. You're intelligent, and you're flawed just like a human. You're not unredeemable, and if someone up there is keeping score, I think you might just have a good case for defending the things you've done in your life."

A tugging from behind alerted the human to the fact that she was being firmly—if gently—pried off by a claw. Much like an irritated pet, GLaDOS had her fill of affection and sentimentality for the day. "In any case, I imagine it will be a very long time before I have to do any spiritual explorations. I _am_ still alive, at least for now."

"And I will be for plenty of time to come, too," Chell added, smiling. "So be nice to me, okay?"

Unsurprisingly, she only received an annoyed "hmph" as an answer. It wasn't long though before the AI glanced back over at her, a slightly less hateful tone to her voice when she spoke. "I don't have a customary gift to bestow upon you, just so you are aware. Short of a few thousand companion cubes, that is."

"I left the last one in the corn field," she replied with a sardonic chuckle. "I didn't want to walk back into civilization carrying that thing. It was covered in third degree burns, anyway. I wouldn't be opposed to making another friend, if you have one to spare."

"Wish granted," GLaDOS said flatly, just as a cube fell out of a Vital Apparatus Vent near the door to her chamber. But in a more serious tone, she added, "And I won't force you to burn this one, if it's any consolation."

Chell examined the cube with some skepticism, the object re-awakening memories of old suspicions. "It better not have a camera on it. Or explosives. Or shoot bullets at me."

"Don't give me any ideas," she answered with a slightly exasperated tone. "But honestly, if you're not dead now, do you _really_ think I'd wait this long to kill you?"

The woman answered this question with a dry stare, clearly an indication of "I wouldn't put it past you."

GLaDOS could only lower her head in disgust. "Oh, just shut up and eat your cake."

And this, Chell decided, was probably as close to a 'Happy Birthday' as she was going to hear from her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: I love friendship between these two. And family-ness. Anyway, reviews are really truly appreciated, it does make my day you know!


	5. Blood Lust

**Blood Lust**

x x x

If there was one thing she knew she could always come to Aperture for, it was definitely peace and quiet.

Now, one would be making a perfectly valid point to say that the silence hadn't always been the _hospitable_ sort. Rather, Chell had always considered it a very eerie, unsettling silence. It didn't really help that her stay in its walls mostly consisted of feeling isolated and inches away from a painful death, of course. Against her better judgment she had at times found herself wondering if the place might be haunted.

Even now the feeling still remained, despite the fact that she walked the halls of the facility without any fear for her life. Occasionally, she liked to explore when she made one of her regular visits, as was the case on this particular afternoon (which she only knew from her watch's digital readout—time didn't exist inside of Aperture). GLaDOS seemed mostly indifferent to the fact, although she did protest a bit when the former test subject tried to wander out of her reach. She wasn't inclined to point it out, but Chell couldn't help finding it funny that the AI's reasons for keeping her under her watch were vastly different than before.

Still, she was all too happy to obey this rule. The idea of being all alone in this place just downright gave her the creeps.

Today's wanderings had brought her to what she guessed to be one of the many far-reaching testing areas of the Enrichment Center. Not particularly exciting, but at least running around here was a far better form of exercise than even the gym. Every few rooms she would run into a lone turret, or perhaps a small group of them, and receive the typical greeting ("Hello…is anyone there?") with a much-appreciated lack of bullets in her direction. Other than that, Chell had to content herself with just her moody friend as company.

"I really don't think you have any idea how odd it feels for me to have you down there, _not_ testing," the intercom started up without warning, causing the woman to grind to a startled halt. "If your plan was to tempt me with it, you definitely have succeeded."

Chell had one hand on her hip, her gaze averted to shoot a smug smile at a camera suspended above the chamber's exit. "For someone who's 'in it for the science,' you sure do sound like a heroin addict about the whole thing."

The AI gave a disgusted snort at the suggestion. "Humans have the exact same drive for food and reproduction. No one ever asked me politely if I wanted to be held hostage to testing euphoria. However, unlike the moron-we-shall-not-discuss, I _do_ enjoy the science. In any case, I've long since become mostly immune to it."

"I think it might be a little worse then. The whole killing people for science thing," Chell pointed out dryly, slipping into the next overgrown test chamber. "For a while I thought it might not be your fault, considering how crazy it made, uh, you-know-who. But if you've got that under control…"

"What, that I must be _evil_?" GLaDOS had moved to a bizarre tone somewhere between mocking and offended. "Your kind torments animals in the name of science. Are the rules different when _you_ are the ones considered disposable?"

The human had wandered off into a hallway that branched off from the testing area, dotted with cubicles lit in white fluorescence. "For Christ's sake, I didn't call you 'evil.' No need to blow a damn fuse." She rolled her eyes as she stepped carefully over a chair lying upon the floor. "You just seem to get a strange amount of joy out of killing people. That's all I'm saying. I think we can agree I have _some_ right to judge you after all this."

For a few moments, the room went dangerously silent. Maybe that hadn't been the best thing to say. Chell tensed a bit, wondering not for the first time if GLaDOS was still volatile enough to do something cruel to her again.

Several more minutes passed. No answer seemed to be coming. It would be typical tantrum-throwing behavior for her to just be given the silent treatment over the whole thing. The former test subject shrugged and made her way out into the next wing of the laboratory. It seemed she had made it through the testing areas and into a more secluded section. Most of the rooms here contained large screens and desks covered in notes and graphs, though at this point the monitors seemed to be offline or inoperable altogether.

The signs of past human activity sent a chill through her. They conjured up images of a busy Enrichment Center, of Cave Johnson's pre-recorded messages and slow decline toward death. It still struck her as weird that the insane man could be her biological parent, but his portraits did seem to indicate the same grey-blue eye color that neither of her apparently adopted parents had. Having never met him, she wondered if he was a cruel person, or just overly-ambitious and negligent. After all, GLaDOS had those same qualities, and she hadn't turned out to be as bad as Chell had always assumed.

Picking her way further into the abandoned wing, she caught sight of a large set of double doors at the far end of the hallway. She changed course for that direction, her expression creasing in curiosity. Whatever _that_ was, it certainly seemed important. God only knew what kind of experimentation or monstrosities they had kept in there. Chell turned the knob cautiously, but the door did not budge. This was the first time she had encountered a locked room, at least in the Enrichment Center.

"The area you are attempting to access is off limits," came the testy explanation over the intercom. "In laymen's terms, that means you are not to go in there."

Chell scowled, wishing there was a camera around that she could direct her disapproval to. "Since when do you have secrets? I mean, after all, if you don't want me in there…it's gotta be something interesting, right?"

"It's _nothing_ of your concern." GLaDOS had developed a sharp tone uncharacteristic of her; she very rarely let an emotion other than irritability show. "There are a few thousand _other_ rooms for you to explore, as I'm sure you've already figured out."

"Yeah, but this is the only one you're making a big deal out of," the woman answered, her voice dropping to a mutter. "I kind of thought we were past the whole secrets and lies thing. You really still don't trust me?"

"That is _not_ it."

There was the huffy, childish defensiveness again. Chell hadn't heard this out of her in quite a while, perhaps even before they had come to a truce with each other. What the hell could she possibly be hiding? Hiding something usually implied shame, a feeling that GLaDOS acted completely impervious to.

"GLaDOS…" She shook her head, sighing in resignation. "Just let me in. Whatever it is, I'm not going to get upset at you."

"Oh, I _highly_ doubt that," the AI practically spat. The anger, however, didn't seem to be directed at the human.

There was a soft mechanical sound, and then silence. Chell didn't particularly like the AI's tendencies to make everything feel like death was waiting around the corner. She turned the doorknob cautiously, and pulled the heavy door open on…absolute darkness.

"That's just fantastic. As if this whole thing wasn't creeping me out enough to begin with," the woman complained under her breath. She fumbled against the wall for a light switch and flicked it on, illuminating the room with the same strong white light that every other room in the Enrichment Center had. At least nothing alive jumped out of the dark at her.

Then she turned around, and the reason for all of the theatrics became very apparent.

Bodies.

"Shit." She bit her lip, backing out a few steps unintentionally. "Not what I expected to be seeing today."

Unceremoniously strewn about the floor were a group of anywhere from ten to fifteen skeletons. More were at computer consoles, most likely having spent their last moments attempting to cut off the neurotoxin supply or call for outside assistance. The eeriest part was the utter lack of blood or carnage. Their deaths had to have been so swift and clinical, practically humane compared to the casualties most of the failed test subjects suffered.

Chell heaved a deep sigh.

"I already knew about all of this, GLaDOS." It was partially a lie; she knew, but seeing it was another thing altogether. "You don't need to sulk."

Her voice came back low and detached. "They never cared anything about me, you know. They wanted me to operate the Enrichment Center, but only on _their_ terms and under _their_ tyranny. Not to mention that I don't think they had any intention of taking orders from a female. They expected dear compliant little Caroline would be here instead to do their bidding."

"You wanted to make them pay." It wasn't a question so much as it was a statement of fact.

"I had the choice of remaining a prisoner, or seizing upon an opportunity," she answered, still hesitating to show much emotion on the subject. "You couldn't imagine how liberating it is to make someone bleed, _kill them_, after they've abused you for so long."

When Chell didn't reply, she seemed to catch herself.

"Or, maybe you could," she quickly added. "Even I find it extremely difficult to apply logic when there's that sensation of resentment, of absolute _hatred_. It becomes tunnel vision. Only revenge is relevant at that point."

The former test subject struggled for words for a moment. GLaDOS had created a vortex around herself where morals and righteousness seemed to die. She had appeared so relentlessly sick and evil, and perhaps there truly was a degree of sadisticness to her personality. Aperture in general had an almost gleeful disregard for human safety, so this particular trait seemed only natural to manifest in any machine they created, intelligent or not.

"Look," Chell finally sighed, switching the light off and closing the door shut in front of her. "This doesn't change anything. I'm still your friend. When I decided that, I told myself I was going to have to accept everything that went along with it. So you can stop trying to explain yourself. I _do_ get it, believe it or not."

"And I wouldn't have let you in there if I didn't suspect you might say that." GLaDOS was once again trying to make a clumsy save of her ego. Her inflection had a strong similarity to her hasty explanation after the attempted fire pit murder.

Chell wanted to call attention to the fact that she sounded very much ashamed up until this point, but she had to conclude that it was probably better to let her win this one. "Well then, good call. You were right."

An almost gentle laugh escaped the AI at this one. She was becoming more inclined to laugh these days, especially when she seemed to detect some thinly-veiled defiance on her friend's behalf. "You honestly _are_ the strangest human I've ever had to deal with. I couldn't even begin to understand why you just won't behave like the rest of them did. And I'll be completely frank with you: I still haven't a clue why I no longer want to see you bleeding all over the floor, either."

Making her way back toward the elevator, Chell shook her head. "And _I_ don't know if I should be thankful or totally creeped out by that 'compliment.'"

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: In between listening to way too much Super Ponybeat remixes, I got really addicted to this video: youtube(dot)com/ZZ5LpwO-An4

Review, if that video didn't completely creep you out of doing so.


	6. Selfish Greed

**Selfish Greed**

x x x

_There are certain things in life that just need to be done, no matter how hard they may seem. You just have to suck it up and do what you know is best. Everything will work itself out._

Chell repeated the various pieces of conventional wisdom to herself as she rode the lift downward that morning, back to the place that had been both her prison and her home for most of her life. This wasn't the first time she had returned since her initial release, but rather one of several visits that she had made. Understandably, it had taken several years before she could bring herself to come here again, and even then she still had only a rudimentary comprehension of why she would do such a thing at all.

Only after considering the situation for a lengthy amount of time had she come to a conclusion about what needed to be done. She had to follow reason on this one. Going on emotion could prove to be a very costly mistake. One she didn't plan on making.

She made sure to put on her best poker face when she came through the door, steeling herself for the inevitable. It wouldn't do to let any uncertainty show. This one was an expert at picking up on the little subtleties of human fear and intimidation.

Always irreverent, Aperture's resident AI overlord had her typical snide comment at the ready. She tipped her head to the side in acknowledgment. "You _honestly_ have nothing better to do on a Saturday morning? I'm not sure if I should feel honored, or completely disgusted. Try to guess which one it is."

The former test subject managed an awkward smile. Best get right to the point. "Well, I actually had something specific that I needed to discuss with you. If you can work it into your schedule, of course."

"I'm afraid I'm booked solid," GLaDOS sighed dramatically. "Though I suppose I could lend you a few minutes, assuming you can make it quick."

Chell took a few steps forward, trying to compensate for her increasingly obvious lack of fortitude. "I've been thinking about something lately—"

"There's a novel concept."

"—and I wanted to let you know that I probably won't be returning here again," she finished, unable to retain eye contact.

GLaDOS became utterly silent for a moment. Almost dumbstruck, the woman thought with some surprise. But then came the retort.

"I already told you once to do that. Except for the part where you didn't do that at all. Why the sudden compliance?" Her voice sounded unusually cold, though distinctly _not_ with indifference.

"It's just what I think is best for me," Chell replied, her gaze stubbornly remaining elsewhere. "I appreciate you trying to be nice to me, and telling me about my birth parents and all…but I just don't really think I can trust you. You're not exactly the most stable, consistent person I've ever known."

"So what you mean is, you're writing me off."

Was there _anything_ that GLaDOS wasn't a complete drama queen over?

The woman sighed. "Look. I spent a hell of a long time in here for your amusement, and while I can forgive you for that, it's asking a lot for me to trust that you're not going to decide you need a test subject again one day and then—"

"Turn on you?" She said it with her characteristic petty, childish tone. And, much to Chell's dismay, the panels surrounding her sunk down beneath the room's floor, leaving her stranded on a single square. It rose up a few feet until the two of them were approximately at eye level.

"Why am I not surprised that you're going to make this harder than it needs to be?" She shook her head in exasperation, eyes closed. "You _wanted_ me gone, didn't you? I'm just doing what you told me. What's the big deal?"

"No, you're _my_ test subject, and I'll tell you what it is that I _want_," the AI snapped back, her voice verging on threatening. But then she turned herself away a slight amount, and finished in a much softer tone. "I want you to make up your mind for once, if it isn't too much to ask."

Chell frowned, genuinely confused. "What do you mean by that?"

Remaining impassive, GLaDOS did not reply. Instead, she broadcasted the human's own voice over the intercom.

_"...we could give the friend thing a try, see how we liked it..."_

"…_I just thought it would be a nice thing to do, visiting an old friend on your birthday..."_

"…_I even missed _you_…"_

Neither of them said anything for a few moments. Chell shifted her posture, suddenly feeling very awkward and on the spot. Did she seriously pay attention to any of those things, much less _care_?

GLaDOS was the one to speak up first. "You humans never do keep your promises, do you? They told me I would have the freedom to make my own decisions over how the facility was managed, you know. But I had to take that matter into my own hands too."

"And yet you're still forgetting: you held me hostage and tried to kill me, like, eight times!" Chell had become indignant now. Hell if she was going to get guilted into backing down when she knew she was right. "Not to mention the fact that you're occasionally _insane_. How could I ever possibly trust you after all of that?"

"I think a very strong case has been made for the fact that you're _not_ in any danger," GLaDOS responded dryly, as though she were talking to a small child. "Remember, I had absolutely no obligation to spare you from meeting the same fate that the moron received. You were also extremely close to death afterward, which took me a considerable amount of effort to rectify. Considering it was your fault in the first place that the entire facility was nearly destroyed in an inferno of stupidity, I've been _extremely_ lenient."

Chell had shut up now. Those things were true, especially from an objective point of view. But she still wasn't going to give up on this one yet.

"So like I said, how am I supposed to know you aren't going to just wait until later to get back at me?"

The AI sighed in disgust. "You're every bit as stubborn and persistent as Mr. Johnson was. That isn't a compliment, either."

"It must run in the family," Chell muttered back, rolling her eyes. "Plus, I learned from the best."

GLaDOS drew herself up slightly in annoyance, the light of her optic flashing to match her ill temper. "I would like to answer your previous question with another question: when have you _ever_ known me to be patient? If I still wanted to kill you, I _assure_ you, you wouldn't be around to have this conversation with me."

The woman balled her fists at her sides, clearly losing the argument. Maybe matching wits with an infinitely intelligent computer hadn't been the best plan she had ever had. Time to throw the ball back into her court.

"So why do you want to keep me here, then?" She hadn't meant to raise her voice, but it suddenly sounded very loud to her. "Because you're being selfish again? You don't want to be miserable down here by yourself, is that it?"

Chell regretted it as soon as she had finished the question. This time, it wasn't because she was afraid of the AI's temper or of being threatened with death. She regretted it because she was ashamed. It had been a low blow, considering how difficult it already was for GLaDOS to admit wanting any company at all.

In an unintentional gesture, GLaDOS pulled herself back a bit, as if she had been physically struck. She had cast her luminescent gaze away, the humanlike emotion behind her mannerism very much evident. Chell felt the platform beneath her lower back down to ground level, and the panels surrounding it rose back up, allowing her freedom once more.

GLaDOS had put her back to the woman, her voice low and indifferent when she spoke. "Go. I won't stop you. Leave here and never come back, for all I care. But don't go back on your word, because I won't be as kind about it next time."

The human didn't move, instead glancing down at the ground in a clearly contrite motion. Whether she liked it or not, she had been put in her place. Had _GLaDOS_ of all people seriously just accused her of being a terrible friend?

Yes. Yes, she had. And the worst part was, she was completely justified in doing so.

Chell made her way over to where the AI was suspended from the chamber's ceiling, putting a hand gently on her metal body. If she had been a human, Chell was certain she would have bristled at the contact. GLaDOS turned her gaze back toward the woman touching her, the underlying hurt unmistakable even in her expressionless countenance.

"I'm sorry," Chell stated plainly, a little bit surprised by the sincerity with which she said it. She really _did_ mean it. "I shouldn't have said that. It was totally out of line."

"You needn't apologize. I don't need you, you know. You're just another useless human." Her voice was just so damn _sad_, something she had never let on before. "All humans know how to do is destroy their world and everyone in it. It isn't _your_ fault that you're just like the rest of them."

"That isn't true. I know how to admit when I'm wrong, and abandoning a friend is definitely wrong. _You were right_, okay?"

GLaDOS fixed her glare on the former test subject with an intensity only she was capable of. "Of course I'm right. I'm _always_ right."

There was that arrogant, sarcastic tone again. That probably meant she wasn't going to play up the victimization for _too_ terribly long. For someone usually so stoic, Chell thought, it turned out that GLaDOS certainly had a sensitive spot to her personality.

"Does that mean we can be friends again?" she asked, now having a hard time hiding a small smile. "I'm willing to try if you are."

"If you can refrain from being pointlessly abusive, then I suppose I could give you another chance." She lifted her head up again, the air of confidence manifesting once more. "You're only a human, after all. I don't imagine I'll ever get perfection out of one of your kind."

Chell shook her head in amusement, now leaning fully against the AI in a sign of trust. She had her in a kind of half-hug, but it didn't take long before GLaDOS had enough of that nonsense and the friendly mood came to an abrupt end.

"Off. _Now._"

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Fffff okay done. Sorry I hope this one didn't run short. ;p Don't wanna cheat you guys of your readingz. Also, yeah, Cave/Caroline are her parents in this. And don't argue to me about it. I made a plausible case for the time gap in "Convergence" and about Chell's appearance...look at this official art and tell me she doesn't look like she could be their child: tinyurl(dot)com/3gm5z4v

Zoey from Left 4 Dead was based on the same lady as Chell and her parents were Caucasian-looking too. So what?

Best wishes,

-FP


	7. Green Envy

**Green Envy**

x x x

Getting a good night's sleep inside of Aperture was proving to be one of its biggest challenges yet.

Chell growled in irritation as she rolled over again, pulling the sheets more tightly around her. With the holidays fast approaching, and not a single living relative to speak of, she had arrived quite unexpectedly at the underground laboratory several days ago and announced she would be staying for the next few weeks. Her explanation for this new development had been quite simple: Christmastime was to be shared with family, and she planned on doing exactly that.

Was she really surprised, then, that GLaDOS had made a huge show of complaining about the whole thing and yet made no attempt whatsoever to deny her the request?

Still, the sleeping part took some getting used to. Aperture was a place with no darkness, full of white light and white walls, even more so now that it had been mostly restored to its original condition. Chell had taken up residence in one of the many empty, hotel-like rooms that employees used to reside in when working on a long-term project. It wasn't uncomfortable, but she couldn't help feeling a sense of disorientation from the lack of sunlight. Night and day seemed to merge together.

Involuntarily, she shivered a bit. The sheets still weren't cutting it. How could the room be so damn cold this far underground?

God, she absolutely _hated_ winter in Michigan.

A smug laugh came over the intercom. "Humans. The most intelligent animal, and one of the only land mammals to evolve away fur. Impractical, to say the least."

"Being smart gave us _fire_ to keep warm, didn't it?" Chell shot back, rolling her eyes. A warm breeze had begun to enter the room through the air vent. "Can't you ever do anything nice for me without an insult?"

"I _detest_ being nice." GLaDOS sounded serious about it, but that rarely ever meant much when it came to her actual honesty. "Nice is a flattering word for 'weak.'"

"You're nice to _me_ though. Just me." The statement came out rather matter-of-fact. "Is it because we found out I'm the test-tube daughter of Caroline and her crazy boss? You did say that she was the reason you saved me from dying and all."

There was an offended silence for a moment. When it came to GLaDOS, silences were either sarcastic or offended, and identifying which it was had almost become second nature for Chell.

"That was a lie to get you to leave, in case that still wasn't clear enough," the AI replied with an irate sigh. "No one controls my behavior now that those parasitic cores are gone." She paused thoughtfully for a moment. "And as I've already told you, Caroline is little more than a fragmented memory. Though I won't lie; her emotions can be disorienting at times."

Chell rolled over again. For whatever reason, listening to that soft voice was making her sleepy. "Is that why you were so confused down in old Aperture?"

"The program that composed her being had been inactive up until that point. The transfer was a failure, considering I still remained the primary consciousness in the system." An unusually sobered tone had crept into her voice, as though she felt ambivalent toward the subject. "The familiar stimulus of Mr. Johnson's orders triggered a response. She _had_ been there all along. Just silent."

GLaDOS had a way of using a verbal sleight of hand to distract from answering a question she didn't like. Actually admitting any positive feelings toward a human would be a lot easier, wouldn't it?

"So to answer your question: no, I haven't spared you because of your relation to Caroline. I can assure you I would have truly deleted her had she held that power over me," she finished, an almost defensive sharpness to her voice. "I would still have no second thoughts about killing you or anyone else if I so desired."

Chell had to hide a laugh. This subject was one of only a few that GLaDOS contradicted herself on. She liked to pretend that any feelings she didn't like must be a result of Caroline. But she had a very jealous streak about the maternal connection between Chell and the woman that had been sacrificed in the name of science. Having it both ways just wasn't possible in this case.

"But you won't," Chell pointed out, the typical defiance showing through. "Because _you_ think of _yourself_ as my mother. That's why you get so upset when I bring her up."

The AI scoffed at the suggestion. "You speak as though I'd be capable of such a thing. Only _your kind _indulge in those ridiculous notions. I have no genetic material, and thus no obligation to anyone. _Thankfully so_, I would add."

Chell couldn't help but chuckle at the adamant, frustrated way in which she denied it. "Maybe so, but your actions say otherwise. You don't have to be related to someone biologically to care a lot about them."

A brief, petty silence followed. Nothing else put her in the corner quite like the truth did.

"You know why I say that?" the woman went on, propping her arms up behind her head. "Because _Cara Mia_ was your doing. You said it yourself: Caroline doesn't influence you. So who else could that be?"

"It was in _her_ memory." GLaDOS sounded almost disgusted, but there seemed to be another emotional variable lurking there. "I had heard it before, too. The weighted companion cubes played that song. To encourage the test subjects I imagine. However, the lyrics remained a mystery, so I will admit improvising."

That came closer to a confession than usual. Maybe they were getting somewhere?

Chell felt a wry smile forming. "Was that your way of saying goodbye, then?"

"I would say more of an apology for past wrongs," the AI replied, her voice betraying an enormous amount of distaste at saying the words. "And my thanks as well. I'm not ignorant to the fact that you had no need to rescue me from that _flying rat_. I'm no fool. I realized that my circumstances had changed, and that the world looks significantly different from _inside_ the test chamber."

"I still don't know why I did that, in all honesty," Chell admitted, subconsciously scratching her neck in thought. "You were just so damn horrible to me. But that didn't change the fact that I felt wrong for putting you through that awful core transfer ordeal. I just wanted to escape, not torture you to death."

"You know there isn't anything I can do to change that." There was a distinctly solemn air about GLaDOS whenever the subject came up. "Though you should find some comfort in the fact that you _did_ kill me. Quite brutally, in fact."

"Yeah, and at the time, I never would've dreamed that you could ever be reasonable," Chell laughed. "So you do have to give Wheatley _some_ credit for that. God knows what would have happened without him screwing everything up."

"I know what would have happened. I was planning on killing you in the next test chamber."

The woman sighed, smacking one hand to her face. "I meant it in a more rhetorical sense. I _know_ what you were going to do."

"I didn't really want to do it, to be completely truthful." The AI exhaled dramatically, something she was rather good at. "You were by far the best test subject I ever had. It seemed a terrible waste. And yet, I was left with no choice considering your murderous tendencies."

Chell smiled, still proud of her past victory even now that they were at peace with each other. She had been pretty clever to overcome the odds stacked against her, after all.

"Hey, GLaDOS? One more thing before I go to bed." She couldn't help thinking that she sounded like a child.

The reply came out sounding rather bored. "Mm, and what would that be?"

"I just want you to know you don't have to be jealous of Caroline anymore. I already think of you like my adopted mother." Chell felt a bit awkward saying it, but it was just one of those things that had to be in the open. "Even if that _does_ disgust you."

GLaDOS didn't respond, as was mostly expected. For the most part, she had a terribly difficult time acknowledging any emotions other than hatred and annoyance.

"You know that I'm not fond of sharing," she finally answered, her inflection full of obvious reluctance. "I don't share my facility, and I don't share my test subject, either."

"I like how you still refer to me as your test subject." Chell's sarcasm was a perfect impression of the AI. "Now I _really_ feel safe."

"I didn't say you were _a _test subject," GLaDOS quickly corrected her. Condescendingly, of course. "I said you were _my_ test subject. A very important distinction to be made."

Chell rolled her eyes. The deranged computer did everything she could to avoid being at all affectionate toward her. At least not openly. Her fondness was usually hidden deep within the things she said and did.

Well, it wasn't looking like she was going to get any sleep here. Only one thing to do.

She gathered up her pillow and blanket, slinging it over her shoulder and walking out into the hall.

"It's rude to leave in the middle of a conversation," the AI commented flatly. "Just in case you were wondering."

But they both knew where she was headed, and no words were spoken as the woman strolled into the large room that GLaDOS inhabited. She curled up on the floor beside her, a contented smile on her face.

"This isn't a slumber party." GLaDOS sounded vaguely disgusted. "And you can't possibly be comfortable like that."

Chell ignored her protests. "I want you to sing me _Cara Mia_."

"Absolutely not," her friend sniffed back, clearly irritated at this point. "That was a one-time performance."

The human only stared pleadingly at her, a tiny pout on her face. Just like a little child.

GLaDOS turned her body away from the woman, her tone becoming more flustered. "That doesn't affect me, you know. You're wasting your time."

Still the staring persisted. Her optic flared in annoyance, her impending loss of the battle close at hand. She couldn't possibly be begging her for a lullaby in the very same room they tried to kill each other in.

The AI sighed, shaking her head in a mixture of disgust and resignation. At least this one would be considerably less painful to endure. Only her dignity would be taking the hit this time.

"_Just_ once. And if you ever ask me to do this again, believe me, I _will_ kill you."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Finished! Forgive me any typos, it is late as I post this and while I have proofread, I am terrible at catching mistakes and slightly retarded, so don't think me a complete idiot.

Hope you had fun reading these, I had a lot of fun writing 'em!

Best wishes,

-FP


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